Cold Heritage
by Dark Metal Queen
Summary: One Shot. I got the idea from Lacuna Coil's song Cold Heritage. Tonks is in a bad depression can she do anything to make Remus understand how she feels about him? Rated T for language. Please comment. This is the first fanfic I have done in awhile.


**Cold Heritage**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the HP series or the song Cold Heritage.

**Author's Note: **I got the idea for this story from Lacuna Coil's song Cold Heritage. Here's the link to it. /GSKnLl972rQ Also I welcome all comments so please comment. Enjoy

"_Don't tell me why__  
__I'm so near to commit a crime__  
__When I stay alone here in front of you__  
__(I'm here)_

_Illusion falls when you're not honest about the way I feel__  
__I know I need only your voice"_

It was a cloudy, overcast day and it was also raining. A young woman was deep inside of the woods inside in the park. This young woman was the auror Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks was slumped against an old, rotting, moss covered oak tree. Her knees were against her chest and her arms were wrapped tightly around them. She was getting soaking wet from the rain but she didn't care at all. Everything was going to hell anyway. Why the hell would she care if she got wet, even sick, anyway? So she just stayed there in that spot not moving at all.

Tonks knew that she shouldn't be like this, that she couldn't be weak and depressed, that she shouldn't breakdown. Tonks couldn't help how she felt though and she couldn't help the memories and thoughts going through her mind. It had been weeks that she suffered with this depression and she couldn't help but go back to that event that caused all of these changes in her. For example, she never cried _this_ much, her mind was never this restless with stress, and her appearance had never changed against her will. Tonks was losing control over everything in her life and she couldn't get it back. Along with that a single question kept nagging at her, "What's wrong with me?"

"Then again I know what's wrong with me," Tonks thought aloud through choking sobs, "Its Remus. Why the hell do I let him affect me like this?"

Soon Tonks gave into her tears and depression and thinks back to the exact day that caused all of this.

* * *

It all began after a very boring Order meeting, possibly the most worst one ever. Everyone had filed out of the dining room where the meeting was held and Tonks and Lupin were the last ones out. They met at the staircase and Tonks pulled Lupin closer to her so she could kiss him. The kiss lasted awhile and although Lupin loved it he had to push her away from him and quickly regain his composure. Lupin cleared his throat, ruffled his hair, and leaned against the banister.

"Tonks, I have something I need to tell," he said.

"Yes?" Tonks said with a kind smile.

"Its not easy to say this..." he trailed off. Fred and George were making their way to the living room but stopped behind Lupin and Tonks to hear what they were talking about. "Fred. George. Can you please leave me and Tonks alone for a moment?"

With sly smiles the twins say yes and head into the living room. Lupin stammers a bit and wonders where to begin again. He thinks about how he wants to say this. Nothing felt like the right words to tell Tonks his feelings so he just decided to just say what came out of his mouth first.

"I know you'll hate me for this but..."

Tonks's smile disappears and she tries and to take Lupin's hand to comfort him. Lupin just pulls his hand away.

You're not making any sense Remus," Tonks said to him, "What's wrong with you? What's going on? Tell me. You can tell me anything."

Lupin paused before answering. He massaged his temples, rubbed his eyes, and gulped nervously a few times. He was sweating bullets and he had to fight the inner demons in his mind to say what he wanted to say to Tonks.

"Dora, first I want to tell you that I've enjoyed spending all this time with you," he began. "But..."

"But what? There can't be anything good you're about to say next," Tonks tensely said to Lupin.

"I know how you feel about me. About where you think this is going between us."

"Us? What do you mean by _us_?"

"You know what I mean Tonks," Lupin sighs.

"Pretend I don't. Explain. Pray tell."

"I should just say it shouldn't I?"

"Being direct does help in most cases," Tonks said with sarcasm.

Lupin took in a few deep breaths and just came out with what eh was going to say.

"I don't love you Nymphadora."

"What?" Tonks said in disbelief. Her arms fell limp at her sides and just dangled there. "No. No. That's a lie. You can't mean that Remus, you can't. I-I love you."

Lupin took Tonks by her shoulders and lightly shook her. He just repeated that he did not love her though. Tonks just got angry though and her anger grew and grew until she began shouting at him. She didn't even notice that tears were beginning to build up in her eyes, she also didn't notice how everyone who lived in the house was now watching this scene from the top of the stairs. All of them (Molly, Arthur, Sirius, Harry, Ron, Herminone, Ginny, and the twins watching from the living room) had their eyes and ears glued to Tonks and Lupin. None of them could look away. They were like a very bad train wreck and this got even more interesting when they heard what Tonks shouted at Lupin next.

"You can't mean that! Everyone here has seen how I look at you and how you've looked at me. They've seen how we constantly flirted with each other!"

"I wouldn't call it flirting."

Tonks ignored that comment from Lupin and continued on.

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't fucking care about me anymore? That you don't fucking love me. Because its clear to me, and so many other people, that you feel the exact opposite!"

"Even if I did feel the same about you Nymphadora it wouldn't work between us."

"Why?"

"I'm too old."

"Age doesn't matter," she replied.

"I'm too poor," Lupin continued.

Every who were watching them held their breaths as the scene continued.

"I don't care about how much money you have. Wealth doesn't concern me," her voice got a little higher in pitch when she said that.

"And I'm much too dangerous for you Nymphadora."

Even though Tonks said that she could handle the danger, she grew hysterical, and the tears that were building up in her eyes fell down her face. She couldn't even get upset about being called by her first name. Soon,though, she would become angrier at Lupin for what he muttered next. What he said was, "Besides you probably never loved me anyway."

"What?!" Tonks got in Lupin's face, "You can lie about your own feelings but don't try...don't even try to say my love is a lie or a joke!"

More tears fall down because of her anger. Tonks gets embarrassed by this and begins to walk away from Lupin to the front door. Molly tries to stop her, to console her but Tonks blows them off. She opens the door, and then slams it shut leaving Number 12 Grimmauld Place. She didn't want their sympathy at the moment, so she left and walked the lonely walk to her small flat.

* * *

Back in the present and the freezing rain, Tonks was drowning deeper and deeper in despair. Tonks wanted desperately to be happy but she couldn't be happy even if she tried. All she could do was pray to the sky for an answer to her problem. No answer came, all that happened was that thunder began to roar. No matter how she felt she knew she had to get inside of someplace so she wouldn't be struck by lightning. So she got onto her feet, walked a few steps forward, and then stopped. AN idea had just popped into her head. Actually the idea was more of an impulse and she decided to act on it.

Very quickly Tonks disapperated away and landed on the front steps of her cousin's home. She built up her courage and swallowed her pride(she didn't have much pride left at that point)and knocked on the door a few times.

"I hope its Remus that open the door," Tonks thought as she waited for the door to open.

However she was disappointed, it was Molly who opened the door. Molly took in Tonk's appearance. Everything about her was dripping wet(from her wet and limp mousey brown hair, pale heart shaped face, muggle band─The Misfits─t-shirt, burgundy leather jacket, dark jeans, and boots) and Molly saw that Tonks was very deep in her own personal hell.

"Come in Tonks," Molly said in a soft, friendly voice, "You'll catch your death if you stay out in the rain."

Tonks does as she's told. She turns around in a small circle looking for Lupin. Her wet hair and clothes wet Molly's face. Molly asks Tonks if she would like some tea and if she would like to talk as well. In a deadpan manner, Tonks says no. She then turns around to face Molly and asks her where Lupin is.

"He should be in his bedroom. Its to the left of Sirius's room, but are you sure you want to see Remus dear?" Molly asked.

"Yes. Thank you Molly," and so Tonks heads up the stair and goes to Lupin's bedroom. Very loudly, she bangs on the door and refused to stop until the door finally opens.

Like expected Lupin answers the door and he's shocked to see who it was knocking on his door. To him Tonks looked like the night of the living dead, she definitely wasn't herself at the moment. Or at all. Tonks barges inside Lupin's room and slams shut the door. She then sit on the foot of his bed and stares at him with her dull, determined, lifeless eyes.

"I'm not leaving until I get the truth out of you," she says.

Lupin just stood there shocked, first of all because Tonks was here in his room and second of all because he had no idea what to say now. For awhile no one spoke but finally Tonks ended up being the first one to speak again.

"Do you always wear shirt around your neck before going to bed," Tonks said sarcastically as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Lupin blushed when he realized that he was shirtless.

"Its okay. I like your scars," Tonks said as she got up, walked over to him, and threw his shirt onto the floor.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves Tonks," Lupin finally said.

Tonks just pushes her wet hair out of her face and tiredly sits down on Lupin's trunk at the end of the bed.

"Huh, you still don't even see what you've done to me," she sadly looks up at Remus, her eyes plead with him, "I am not like this. I'm not myself anymore! I HATE being like this. I hate being all pale, dull, and depressed! I hate how I am now and its all because of you!"

Tonks breakdown into tears again. She falls to her knees and grabs Lupin's hand. He begins to feel guilty and he can't stand to see his friend, a girl he loves in fact, like this. Lupin knelt down in front of Tonks and told her to get up. She buried her face in his chest and Lupin just wrapped his arms around her. Lupin was very warm and he didn't even mind that he was getting slightly wet from Tonk's soaking wet clothes. This was all he could do though. All he could do was hold her.

"Do you want to talk?" Lupin whispered.

"No," Tonks whispered back, "No, no, I just want silence now."

So they didn't speak but soon after though Tonks began to fall asleep. Tonks yawned, walked over to Lupin's bed, and lied down on it, curled up in a ball. She fell asleep instantly and Lupin grabbed the green fleece blanket that was over a chair and placed the blanket on her. Lupin then got into bed and lied on top of the blankets on the opposite side of the bed.

About an hour later Fred walks by Lupin's bedroom and looks through the keyhole. Since the room was very dark he could just barely see Lupin and Tonks lying in bed together. Fred turned around and saw George and Sirius behind him. He goes over to them and ask him what was going on in Lupin's room because it was so quiet now. They ask if everything is alright between Lupin and Tonks. Fred said yes. George asked if there was any progress made in their relationship.

"Almost but not quite," was all Fred said.

"What do you mean," Sirius asked.

"See for yourself."

So both Sirius and George looked through the keyhole and saw what Fred was talking about. Both Tonks and Lupin were sleeping in the same bed, the only difference now was that Lupin's arm was around Tonks.

"Let's leave Remus and Nymphadora alone to their sweet dreams," Sirius said in a half serious half joking way.

So the three of them did just that and left the two lovers alone to themselves on this memerable night.

"_And I'm lonely here inside of me  
Deep inside of me  
I've never  
Never felt myself this way before  
I don't want to leave you with my fears  
If you'll disappear  
Believe in the light in me  
_

_Saving all my words only for you  
Forgive me  
Falling on knees only for you  
Forgive me, Forgive me"_


End file.
